Generational Cycle of Abuse
Stories
Growing up in Omaha through the 1970s and 80s, Tammy experienced domestic abuse at the hands her father. Her father physically, mentally, and sexually abused Tammy, her sisters, and their mother. Tammy’s mom sought help from social services in 1979, but after a few months in foster care and some therapy sessions, they ended up right back in the house with their father and the abuse continued. Finally, in 1987, he was arrested and sent to prison for child abuse.
As often the case, Tammy’s story is an example of the cycle of abuse through generations. Tammy’s father was also raised by abusive parents. Tammy again experienced domestic abuse in a relationship as an adult. The abuse wasn’t physical like what she had experienced as a child, but after learning about the different forms of domestic violence years later, she realized the relationship had been abusive.
If you are in an abusive situation, Tammy wants to pass along these messages: You deserve to be treated well. You are brave, you are not alone and when you’re ready, there is help and resources for you. You are loved.
“Leaving an abuser is complicated,” Tammy acknowledges. “If children are involved it’s beyond complicated. The court system does not always protect the abused. Abusers do not automatically lose their parental rights and/or custody. Please don’t ever tell a survivor to ‘just leave’ or give opinions or advice about leaving. Listen to them if they’re ready to talk. Hold their hand. Tell them you love them, you believe them, and that they have done nothing wrong.”
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Survivor Story
