I Never Came Back
Stories
After Christine told her abusive husband of nine years that she wanted a divorce, an act of violence against her put things into perspective. “That was when it clicked,” she says. “I left and did not go back.”
It started early in the marriage with insulting comments about Christine’s weight and intelligence. As time went on, he was also telling her she had mental issues and needed help. “I did need help, actually. I was emotionally broken and mentally exhausted.” It escalated to incidents in which she was made aware that he was trained to not be seen and could easily incapacitate people. He told her he knew different ways to kill people. The abuse continued in the form of control. “He ignored me when I was home,” says Christine, “but was calling for me to come home nearly as soon as I had arrived anywhere. I became cut off from my friends and family.”
Christine knew she wanted out and told him she wanted a divorce. Domestic violence had been present in both her family and his, and she was ready to break the cycle. In the few months that followed, his behavior became more erratic. He made Christine feel responsible when he threatened to commit suicide, quit his job, and threatened to move all her things out while she was at work. One morning, he threw a container of leftover spaghetti at her head; this physical violence the final straw. “That was when it clicked. I left and did not go back,” Christine says.
Still, she experienced months of terrifying stalking, and phone calls that were still occurring even 15 years after the divorce. It’s been seven years since that last call, and she hopes it was the last.
Christine has these words for those experiencing domestic violence: Listen to your gut. If you feel something isn’t right, it isn’t right. Make an exit plan, and that doesn’t need to include your material possessions. When I left, I was going to visit a friend for the weekend – and I did… I just never came back. I had a change of clothes, but I could have just as easily been running to the store for milk and not come back. My stuff was replaceable, but I wasn’t.
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Survivor Story
